The 10 Best French Expressions to say “Having Sex”

French lesson -

The 10 Best French Expressions to say “Having Sex”

Today, in French lessons with Mr. Nicolas:

Mr Nicolas French teacher

Hello students! I'm Mr. Nicolas and I'm going to be your new French teacher!

 

For your first lesson, we are going to learn something that could actually be useful to you if you visit France!

I don’t really know why but there are many more cool and funny expressions to say “having sex” in French than in English, probably because it’s one of their favorite hobbies beside striking, rioting and drinking wine. So today, for this French lesson, you’re going to learn some expressions they probably forgot to teach you when you were in high school. Don’t hesitate to use those expressions when you visit this beautiful country!

For convenience, here those expressions are written like some random guy is talking to his friends and telling his intentions about a girl, but you can adapt them to any gender and sexual orientation no problem. It's 2019 and a modern and inclusive class!

Let us begin the lesson:

Number 1

French: Je vais la tartiner

English : I’m gonna spread her on my toast

Tartiner

"Tartiner" is a specific French verb meaning "spread on a toast". Repeat after me "Tar-ti-ner" 

Number 2

French: Je vais la soulever / la monter en l’air

English: I’m gonna lift her up / lift her in the air

Soulever

What is the gentleman on the picture doing? Yes, he is ready to lift up something heavy! "Sou-le-ver" in French! 

Number 3

French: Je vais la plier en 4 / en faire un origami

English: I’m gonna fold her in 4 / turn her into an origami

Origami master

Here you can see Akira Yoshizawa, grandmaster of Origami and the inspiration for this expression! Note his name, it could be in the next test! 

Number 4

French: Je vais la faire grimper au rideau

English: I’m gonna make her climb the curtains

Grimper aux rideaux

Always make sure the curtains (rideaux) are solid enough before climbing (grimper) them! Remember that when you visit France! 

Number 5

French: Je vais la démonter / la démolir

English: I’m gonna dismantle her / disassemble her

Démonter

This one can also be used to say beat up someone. Make sure you're in the right context if someones says they're going to dismantle (démonter) you!

Number 6

French : Je vais la faire monter au 7ème ciel

English: I’m gonna make her climb to the 7th heaven

7ème ciel

I have no idea what this show is but I hope with all my heart it hasn't been shot in France 

Number 7

French: Je vais lui faire un hella

English: I’m gonna make a mess to her

Hella

Hella is an arabic word meaning "mess" (or "désordre" in French). In this picture, this dog just made a complete hella in the bathroom! 

Number 8

French: Elle va passer à la casserole

English: She's gonna end up in the cooking pot

Casserole

A lot of French expressions are related to cooking, because of the importance of gastronomy in French culture!

Number 9

French: Je vais lui casser les pattes arrière

English: I’m gonna break her rear legs

Pattes arrière

You probably noticed that in this case, the adjective (arrière) is not plural while the noun (pattes) is! Writing them both plural is a mistake a lot of French people commonly do!

Number 10

French: Je vais la fourrer comme une dinde

English: I’m gonna stuff her like a turkey

Fourrerunedinde

French people also like to eat turkey for special occasions. While they are not as big as in the US, they still need to be stuffed!

 

That's all for today! Thank you all for your attention, you have learned a lot today! Remember pratice makes perfect so I want you to find some French people and try those expressions on them! They're probably going to like you more after you show you're interested in their culture!

Please share this lesson if you learned something and don't hesitate to tell me your favourite expressions!


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